Save me
by Yosem Tiva
Summary: Tony and Ziva go on a mission and face some difficulties,, Tony gets hurt …will Ziva be able to save him in time … a total Tiva story .. sorry for the delay , chapter 11 is up. On Hold, sorry guys, until i finish 'I will protect you'
1. I understand

**Tony and Ziva go on a mission and face some difficulties,, Tony gets hurt …will Ziva be able to save him in time a total Tiva story **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of NCIS or its characters but I wish I did **

**Ok people this story starts with all characters only in the beginning but will be about Tiva and the difficulties that will face them in the mission**

**If you like it please give me your opinions and any suggestions and constructive criticism are welcomed **

**It is my first Fanfic on NCIS so go a bit easy on me**

**The more reviews the more I write **

**Chapter 1 '' I understand ''**

'' Tony …. To… Tonyyyy ''

'' Zivaaaa … Ziii … I'm really… sorry '''

'' Tony ... Tonyy... Tonyyyyyyyy….''

---------------

_Two days ago: _

''Grab your gear.. dead marine'' said Gibbs in his usual we-have-a-long-night tone

Tony was playing some game on his phone while Ziva was apparently giving some

e-mails her killing looks

McGee was typing furiously at his keyboard for no apparent reason

They immediately stood up and both grabbed their bags, badges, and their ammunition

They looked back to see McGee still typing on his keyboard

Tony was about to make a humorous joke when Gibbs said that McGee will stay behind

They head for the elevator

Tony was staring bluntly at Gibbs then Gibbs gave him a head slap to make him move

''On your six boss'' Tony said on a hurry

All that time Ziva was studying McGee's reactions thoroughly

He showed no attention at all and remembered how he had a phone call early from someone who made him type furiously on his keyboard

Tony still had a questioning look while he went to the elevator with Ziva and Gibbs

In the elevator, Gibbs cleared that the dead marine was a close friend of McGee's father

Ziva said nothing in reaction while Tony scolded himself for his annoying attitude towards McGee and how her stared really bad at him

He wished he had not made that stupid stare

Then he shared a meaningful glance with Ziva

''DiNoizzo you with David with the gear''

Tony and Ziva went to the car and snitched the keys from Ziva and said '' I am still young to die and especially not for you''

Ziva only gave him one of her deadly stare that says you-will-pay-for-this

The drive to the crime scene was fast but safe at the same time they arrived in five minutes and found Gibbs already there waiting for them

Ducky and Palmer arrived ten minutes later and they all went to process the crime scene

''A Caucasian male, late forties , from first analysis cause of death is a gun shot to the head , from the position of the gun it suggests a suicide attempt'' said Ducky

Gibbs just stared at the corpse lying in front of him in his marine uniform and his own gun in his stiffed hand and a pool of blood around his dead face with stone like blue eyes

Tony in the meanwhile was a having a hard time looking at that corpse or even taking the photos of the scene

This brought back a lot of bad memories

He remembered Kate's lifeless eyes staring back at him and her blood all over his face ,,, he feels as if he can taste her blood in his mouth again

He mumbled some thing about forgetting some gears from the car to Gibbs and left

Ziva scanned him with her eyes before finishing the photos of the scene and bagged the evidences

She left Ducky with Palmer putting the body in the gurney while Gibbs doing some sketching and writing some notes

She was heading to the car when she caught sight of Tony by its side breathing heavily and leaning to the floor holding his stomach

She now realized he had emptied his stomach contents

She thought about just giving him to recover and hide his traces but she caught sight of the expressions on his face of great tiredness and some sadness she rarely saw even only once when Jeanne told him that she wishes she never met him

She went to him and at the same time he started gagging again and this time she hold his head rubbing his temples and removing the sweat from his temple

He stopped two minutes later, she then removed her hand from his head and gave him a tissue to clean his mouth with it,,, she actually was worried for him and wondering what could cause that kind of sickness all of the sudden while all day he was laughing and playing jokes on her and McGee and when he finally fed up started playing on his phone

She forced herself to stop that lining of thoughts to see what was happening to Tony

Ziva found a weary look cross Tony's face but he hid it quickly and replaced it with one of his charming smiles, but it did not seem so charming with that tired look still did not leave his eyes

''That damn pizza,, it must have had bad potato in it '' said Tony trying to shake Ziva off and avoid being questioned

But Ziva is not the type that to be shaken away in that way

''What is wrong Tony?'' she said softly even surprising herself by that tone

'' It is nothing really '' but she stared at him and he stared back but could not hold his gaze, and cracked under her gaze '' I... It's just …that… I just recollected bad memory with that dead body ''

''it is Kate, yes?''

_How did she know,_ was the first thought in Tony's mind,_ I'm becoming very weak in front of Ziva lately._

Tony sighed and said '' yes, it is, but I prefer not to talk about it''

''It's ok I understand'' said Ziva and left Tony looking very surprised and confused

That is it for this chapter.. I want to know your opinions, if you like it I will continue writing, your reviews will encourage me to write more

I already have the outline and plot of the story but any suggestions are welcomed

**The next chapter will show the details about the crime **

**Tiva moments of course**

**Some McAbby and how McGee faces that crime**

**Some indications to the problems that will happen to Tony and Ziva**


	2. Thank You

**Here is the next chapter, I wrote this chapter when I got only one review, imagine what I can do when several reviews??**

**Please tell review and tell me shall I go on or change techniques or what?**

**Thank you papillongirl for reviewing my story **

**Chapter 2**** '' Thank you''**

Tony spent the way back to the headquarter very silent considering that tender touch of Ziva that he has never seen from her before

_She actually held his aching head for him in a way that he had never felt from her before_

_I should say thanks, but how can you say thank you to a ninja chick without getting hit or killed by a stapler_

_She was so nice and caring when she have seen his pain _

_She always can see through my soul_

_She knows when to stop and when to push_

_I do not know what to do to thank her??? _ Was the last thought in Tony's mind when he realized that they reached headquarters

Tony then spotted Gibbs who looked as annoyed as Tony by the death of the marine

Gibbs looked flushed as if he was caught in a bad memory also

He seemed annoyed with the fact that the marine was said to commit suicide

That also brought painful memories of Jenny

Then Tony was distracted by the fact that McGee is going to be in a miss

He promised himself not to annoy him for a couple of days until he recovers from the shock

Ziva in the meanwhile made no reaction to any thing happening, but inside there was a lot going on

_Why did I hold his head for him like that?_

_Why did not I think,, I'm a Mosade agent for God's sake?_

_Get a grip of yourself_

_What will he think I'm trying to do now? _

_what shall I do??_

The elevator stopped and they went into the bullpen

Tony saw McGee nowhere near.. he actually started to worry about him

_Did I really just think about that?_

He went to his desk and put his gun , badge and bag aside and then went to Abby to give her the evidence to process

He took a glance at Ziva who was still unpacking her stuff

_There is something about you that I will never understand Ziva_ Tony told himself

He went to the elevator and it was about to close when Ziva with her ninja skills was inside with him in no seconds

He gave her one of Gibbs's stares but was defeated very fast as she always wins with her deadly stares

Tony thought about saying ''thank you'' but he was scared of her reaction

He did not know what she will

He decided finally to say '' thank you'' by his usual way of ordering pizza on him for this time if she allowed him and if not he thought he would say it honestly to the Ziva while leaving headquarter and then face the fire of his angry partner

If there is one thing that Tony learned while serving for the Navy it was _to tell about what you feel to the ones you care for, before it is too late_

This a thought that never left Tony's mind since Kate's murder

Kate again she was a real sister to him, some one he can talk to openly unlike Ziva

Ziva represented power to Tony

She always pushes everything to the limit, but today she just stopped and said _she understands_

Does she really understand how he longs for someone to talk to and open up to, a real relationship that is more than an overnight sleep

Like he did with her before Jeanne came to his life

Tuesday nights and how he waited for them

Why did that change?

_I really miss you Ziva_

_I really do_

All that time and Ziva was living in her own world of different thoughts

_Why is he not talking?_

_Tony are you that hurt inside you would be making a joke about what happened by now?_

_What happened to you Tony??_

The elevator stopped at Abby's lab and she did not yell to greet them as usual, there was no music in the background

She was working on her computer on the photos of the crime that they sent her earlier

McGee was standing besides her staring at the crime scene photos and his face a bit reddish

'' I am really sorry for your lose, Tim'' Ziva said, startling everyone around her

Even Timmy was shocked more about consolation than the murder for a second

He then remembered and mumbled a '' thank you'' broken phrase

Tony put his hand on Tim's shoulder to give him moral support for a moment then stood back

'' he was a great friend of my family'' McGee said in a broken voice '' I cannot believe that he committed suicide ''

After that a sobbing was heard and the three realized that it was Abby crying

She went over to McGee and gave him one of her relieving hugs.

Then she stopped herself and went back to her work mumbling something about '' evidence, analysis, mystery''

Tony and Ziva during that hug felt out of place and awkward, they exchanged an acknowledging look and then kept watching

When McGee pulled himself together he said '' I guess Gibbs will not allow me to be part of that investigation ''

Out of no where Gibbs appeared as usual '' you will be part, McGee but only watching, David and DiNozzo will do the hard work for you ,and we will find the killer'' said Gibbs with his blue eyes on his youngest agent ,Tony could swear he saw a flash of concern crosses his face

''So, you do not believe that he killed himself '' said McGee as his voice was a bit cheerful now

''No I do not'' was all what Gibbs said and then said ''Dinozzo, David, you with me now'' both Tony and Ziva followed Gibbs to the elevator leaving a suffocating McGee from a crying '' I knew he would believe it '' Abby

In the elevator Gibbs told his two agents to go to pack their bags as they are going to go afloat on a ship where their dead marine was last assigned and charged two days ago

Tony did not feel comfortable about going on a ship again after that long 6 month of isolation as an only cop of 400 young sailors

Ziva on the other hand felt something unusual in her 'gut' about not going on board of that ship, but threw that thought at the back of her mind

She went to follow Tony out of the elevator as he hurried to gather his things, but she failed to avoid the discomfort she felt towards that mission

**That's it for this chapter **

**Sorry my writing is not always in abbreviation as I study and write always in formal English**

**Sorry for the long exposition, but I had to establish a steady floor for my story **

**I hope you like it so far, please if you have any suggestions, constructive criticism, and any comment review and tell me your opinion**

**The next chapter will show the beginning of the problem that Tony and Ziva will face in their mission**

**I already started in chapter 3 so please, please, please review and tell me your opinion, as I am practically begging!!**


	3. On Board

**Here is the next chapter, please read and review to know if someone is really reading **

**Thank you Ziva4Tony, NCIS FAN for reviewing**

**CHAPTER 3 on board**

Tony and Ziva were packing to go on the plane carrier from where their dead marine was discharged two days ago with a private permission from his charging officer

The reason for that discharge was unknown and Gibbs wanted to send them as there was no possible contact with the carrier, for it was sailing in international water

Any contact through satellite was banned for security purposes

Corporal Adam, the dead marine, was working on highly classified information was all they knew

'' Find out what they are not telling us here '' Gibbs told them

He also told them that they will be brought back the next day, so they will have to share a cabinet together on the carrier for the night

Tony made a smirk on his face when Gibbs gave him a head slap '' do not even think about ''

Tony just did not reply while staring at Gibbs who added over his shoulder while walking to his desk '' hurt her and you answer to me, DiNozzo ''

All that time Ziva was busy packing her bag for the flight

She was not worried about spending the night with Tony in one cabinet as she knew he was cautious with her

He would never go beyond his limits, besides she can stop him whenever she wants

She also was concerned and irritated by that feeling in her 'gut' as Gibbs says it, she was always in control of things and not being able to control her something was eating her inside out

She did not know what annoyed her and that even made her more irritated

Tony did not miss that annoyance in Ziva's face , he could see that something is annoying her very much

He wished he could do something to her , to ask her, but of course he knew the answer for that would be a complete '' I a fine ''

If he asked her he would be pushing her while she did not when she said _I understand_

_I wish if I can understand you better Ziva _was Tony's last thought before he went with Ziva to the helicopter that will carry them to the carrier

Meanwhile, Gibbs was interrogating people who where the last to see Corporal Adam alive

The next day, both Tony and Ziva were flying in a helicopter to the plane carrier

The flight took all night long and Tony has wasted his energy in quoting films while Ziva just rolled her eyes at his comments

'' Welcome aboard '' said the skipper helping Tony and Ziva out of the helicopter

'' You have 48 hours, and I will come to take you home again ''

Tony just nodded to him while getting out of the helicopter

Ziva has already gotten of the helicopter scanning the place as her Mosade training made her do

'' Come with me please '' said the skipper leading the way to the inner cabinets

Tony and Ziva followed him inside and walking through corridors closer to each other again brought back memories for both of them

They entered their cabinet '' wow, that is pretty cozy Zeevah ''

It had two small metal beds above each other with really uncomfortable

looking sheets

''That looks like a king's sweet '' said Ziva mocking the annoyed look that appeared on Tony's face

'' Well Ziva not all of us have lived afloat eating bad food and sleeping on that awful hard mattress for 6 months'' replied Tony defensively

Ziva in return just stared back at him but inside she felt that she may be made a mistake by tackling that subject with a joke

_You have really changed Tony_

After returning from being a float before Tony never wasted time on telling stories about his staying there even though he stayed there for almost half a year Ziva realized that while putting their equipment together

'' Hurry up, we need to finish up really early before Gibbs figures away to come and kick my but for lazing around ''

Ziva just nodded to him and hurried in unpacking her things, that annoying feeling is coming back with the mention of finishing up the work

She was starting to relax but something just feels not right

Tony on the other hand, was thinking about his reply to Ziva

_That was pretty harsh, is this how you are going to repay her for caring for you and humoring you, stupid DiNozzo''_ he head slap himself at that point and then took a glance at Ziva who was now putting her knives and weapons back in different places and hidings in her clothes

He grinned at her at that point and she grinned back at him quickly and then pretended to not have done that , she faced the wall and bit her lower lip

_Get a grip of yourself Ziva, before you get caught in something you won't be able to control_

_I really love him but we are partners _

_Besides Gibbs will kill us for breaking rule number 12 _

_Who am I kidding he is just a playboy, why would he be even interested in an Israeli crazy Mosade assassin????_

On the other side of the cabinet Tony also faced the wall and smiled even more to himself and then frowned in a matter of a second

_Yes, she smiled at me, she certainly not angry with me_

_Yet, that smile was not usual; she had some tenderness in her eyes for a second_

_Was she pitying me??_

_Or _

_Is it possible to be love??_

_No, no, she does just pity me when I snapped at her_

_I just wish if she feels the same for me_

'' Ok, let's role '' Tony snapped out of his thoughts to a professional level

'' Ok'' was all what Ziva said

That bad feeling would not just leave me, would it?

Again Tony and Ziva went through the carrier corridors close to each other, they went to the room where Corporal Adam worked, but they were not allowed in

They needed high classified permission and so they showed there badges and of course they let them in

They knew that corporal Adam was working in a high classified project called SPAM

It is a new project designed to transfer signals to the army in the country to lunch attacks at any time if they country was under threat and control the missiles from the carrier

It was a high classified project and only Corporal Adam and his commander knew about it's details

Of course his commander was the one who told them that and asked them to be really discrete about it in front of the sailors

Tony and Ziva then decided to question the two sailors who shared his cabinet , but after they eat something first

Tony refused to eat anything from the food the carrier would serve even before he knew what it was

He told Ziva to follow him back to their cabinet as he has a surprise for her

Ziva was very astonished at that order and maybe too shocked to object

**That is it for this chapter**

**I hope you like it so far , please tell me if you have any suggestions**

**Please tell me what do you think about the story and the techniques**

**Please feel free to comment at anything **

**Please , please , please review so I know if I shall go on or change techniques**


	4. Alone

**Here is the next chapter , I hope you like it , sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes **

**Please review so I can tell if anybody likes it , you can even review anonymously**

**Just tell me what you think**

**Thank you Lovetowrite390 and W for reviewing you gave me motive to write this chapter**

**Chapter 4 Alone**

Ziva followed Tony still astonished to their cabinet and only a minute later to find him setting a banquet for her over the boxes in which they brought their gear

Now she knew why his bag looked a bit unusual and big

He brought different kinds of food

He brought pizza, Chinese food with him and had them rapped in foil paper to keep their heat

He also had a coffee pot full of freshly made coffee that filled the air

The smell refreshed Ziva at once after that long day

Tony gave her one of his charming smiles and ushered her in

He helped her with her chair

Ziva felt like she is in a dream, Avery sweet dream that she would never want to wake up from, it has been long since she was treated like a lady before

She could not help herself but smiling at the surprise Tony made for her

His green eyes kept smiling as he saw the smile that crossed her face and failed to hide it for two whole seconds

'' Now that looks cozy, do not you think? '' Tony said still smiling at her

_It was working as planned_

_That was the only way he could say thank you for her_

'' Yes, it is. Thank you Tony '' shocking him, it was him who planned to say thank

Her brown eyes met his green ones

_It just feels right not awkward to be around you Ziva_

_You must be the one for me Ziva but how can I make sure that you feel the same for me _

_How??_

That thought crossed Tony's mind in a quarter of a second then he decided to just to let her know when the right moment presents itself

'' Here you go me lady'' said Tony in his fake accent giving her a cup of coffee to refresh her

She took it from his hands '' Thank you Tony ''

Tony mentally lamented his long lost plan for saying _thank you_

_She said thank you again_

_Oh my God is the world going crazy_

_The crazy ninja chick is saying thank you, while Tony the playboy cannot say it_

_I must be dreaming_

He finally decided while sipping his coffee to say it right away before she changes her mind of being a nice ninja chick to a crazy ninja chick or even urge him to finish their work which made him feel a bit annoyed

He has a bad feeling but he does not know from what, he just wanted to sit with Ziva for as long as he can

'' Thank you Ziva '' Tony said it so quietly that it was hardly audible, but it could not escape Ziva's ears which had every meaning in it

'' For what Tony '' Ziva replied back softly in the same quiet tone

It was so soft that Tony wanted just to grab Ziva and hold her in his hand and just cry over her shoulder

He had recalled a lot of bad memories this week and Ziva was always there to pull him from collapsing

She gave him strength he never had in him before

In Ziva's mind, there was another battle going on

_Oh Tony you really did change _

_I just want to give you your space_

_I do not know what to do_

_This is the first time l face a situation like that_

_Why cannot I control my feelings towards you Tony_

'' Thank you for giving me a space Ziva '' Tony whispered again echoing her thought

'' I am really grateful for what you did '' Tony said again even in a smaller voice than before but Ziva did not care as she could hear him just well

'' Thank you for holding my head when I was in pain for me , Zi, thank you for putting up with my bad temper today, thank you Ziva ''

That was a victory for Tony to finish his words as his emotions was taking over him and he did not want Ziva to draw away from him

_She is already too far; I do not know what to do _

_I love you Ziva and I hope I would get the courage to say it as I finally said thank you_

In matter of less than half a second Tony processed all this information

Ziva on the other hand was swimming in a pool of thoughts

_Oh my God Tony what happened to you _

_I cannot take it any more_

_You are perfect Tony, why would not l put up with some of your qualities, if I get to see you every day_

Tony in the mean while stared at her waiting for a reaction to his speech

He was getting worried as he saw her face get a little wary

_Oh my God I pushed her too far _

_Oh my God I won't be able to speak to her openly again, oh she is taking too much time to answer_

_Oh Ziva please do not push me away_

Ziva then spotted the terror rising in Tony's eyes and she replied trying to keep it professional and comforting at the same time, she did not want to admit her care ness is more than partnership yet

'' You are my partner Tony and I will always be on your six '' Ziva said regretting not saying what she really wanted

Tony just nodded _she is already pushing me away; it is all my fault…_

Ziva noticed the change in Tony's expressions and hurried to prevent Tony from pushing away and shutting himself from her

'' But if you needed to talk about anything outside work, I will always be there to listen, yes? '' Ziva said

Tony cheered up at that statement and said to her and his charming smile appearing on his face again '' But it will both ways, would not it Zeevah ''

''Maybe one day I will Tony '' Ziva replied to Tony with one those seductive-ironical

Smiles on her face

''So what do you think if we catch a nap, let's say for 3 hours and then we go complete the integration with the two marines'' Tony said now after he was relived that Ziva won't pull away from him

They has been awake for 27 hours straight now and he wanted some sleep '' I do not think Gibbs will mind that''

Ziva smiled at him and said '' You such a baby'' gently slapping him on the face

'' So in which bed will you sleep Zi, the top or the bottom?'' Tony asked smiling at her slyly

'' On top of course, Tony '' Ziva replied returning an even more cunning smile

'' I thought you already knew that ''

Tony just smiled again slyly then went to arrange his bed

And sat on it while Ziva sat on the upper one

For half an hour Tony just stared into the matters of the top bed listening to Ziva snoring quietly

'' Ziva are you awake? '' Tony asked to make sure that she was asleep

Ziva did not answer back which confirmed that she is asleep besides she was snoring Tony concluded

'' I love you Ziva , I love you from the moment I laid my eyes on you , I loved you more when I got to deal with you and your crazy ninja skills , I missed you when I got afloat , that is why I answered aggressively at you, it reminded me of being away from you , I love you Zi and I hope I could really tell you one day '' Tony said that from his heart whispering to himself more than to the woman who he loved and only inches away from him

Ziva kept snoring in rhythm and Tony finally surrendered to the tiredness that washed over him

On the top bed, Ziva opened her eyes which were now full of tears that even a trained assassin could not stop '' I love you too Tony '' Ziva whispered back at the now snoring Tony

_Oh my God he does care for me _

_How can I treat him now that I know he do care for me and pretend not to_

_What am I gonna do? _

Those were the last thoughts that Ziva processed before sleep her defeated her consciousness

**That is it for this chapter; I hope you enjoyed reading it as I enjoyed writing it**

**Please tell me what do you think, what you liked and what you did not, what you could not handle**

**I welcome any suggestions, constructive criticism**

**Please, please, please, please read and review so that I can write you more**

**Your reviews encourage me to continue the story **

**The next chapter is a surprise and it witnesses a lot of events and complications **

**'' Thank you for reading any ways ''**


	5. problems on the horizon

**Here the next chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it**

**Please give me feedback to know what you think**

**I can see that a lot visited the story, but does anyone really love it?**

**I am really sad that not a lot comment, maybe you do not like it!!!**

**Thank you yoyo and Zeevah DiNozzo for your reviews**

**Chapter 5 problems on the horizon**

Tony and Ziva fell asleep and did not wake up until the next day due to their great exhaustion. Ziva wake up at five am in the morning, her mind still aching from what Tony confessed and she over heard.

She got up from her bed and jumped to the floor from the upper bed which caused Tony to wake up and sit bolt right

''Good morning Tony '' Ziva said to Tony, smiling at his still disoriented gaze at her

Then Tony got his senses back and got a smirk on his face '' Good morning Zeevah, did you have a good sleep? '' Said Tony smiling slyly at Ziva

'' Actually I did Tony, thank you for asking.'' Ziva said smiling at Tony again and sincerely after recalling the confessions he made yesterday

Ziva admitted herself that she loved him too, but she was as confused of how to admit it as he was

She decided to treat him the same way and with time she will know the right moment to say _I love you _to Tony

Tony on the other hand had not got a clue that she knew and he just thought that she was being nice since he said _thank you_

'' Come on let's continue our investigation before time runs out of our hands '' Tony said and took some clothes to change and get ready and went to the bathroom to freshen himself.

Ziva again put her weapons back in their hidden places and then changed her clothes and knocked on the bathroom door to make him come out as apparently he was waiting for her to get changed.

Tony came out wearing a blue jacket with NCIS badge on it and a blue jeans and was met by the same uniform worn by Ziva

She had her hair in a pony tale and her curling hair loose from the band that held it together

_She just looks gorgeous with her dark brown skin and her hair held back like that , oh stop it DiNozzo Snap out of it or you will get your but kicked by a crazy ninja chick _Tony told himself and he mentally head slapped himself

Ziva again was having the bad feeling again that still annoyed her

'' let's go and investigate with the two marines who shared Adam's cabinet '' Tony said to Ziva while picking up his own gun and badge

They went down the corridor and to the cabinet where Corporal Adam slept

They went through Adam's stuff and bagged them to get them to Abby to make her analysis

They did not find the two marines and knew that they are on duty in two different places of the carrier; they were in two different locations on the carrier

Corporal Kevin was working with the engines in the last level of the carrier, whereas Corporal Walter was working on the deck of the carrier.

'' Ok, Zi, you take the one on the deck while I go down stairs to the engines to finish faster '' Tony said already getting read to leave

'' Tony, I do not think that is a good idea, why do not we both go to both of the Corporals '' said Ziva still her 'gut' telling her to be careful

A smirk appeared on Tony's face and said '' why, are you afraid Zeevah? ''

'' No I am not, I am just being careful, Tony '' said Ziva a bit irritated at that question

Because she was getting a bit worried by the minute

'' Look Zi , we have less than four hours, and if we are going to get some confessions we need to work faster , so just go get the info from Corporal Walter as fast as you can ,without killing him of course, then you can come and finish the investigation with me …that is if I was not done with him ''

At this point Ziva could not just object again, so she said '' ok Tony , but I promise It won't be longer than 30 minutes for me to crack him and come to watch you suffering with your suspect''

Tony went to the engines' room while Ziva went up to the deck to investigate with Corporal Walter

-----------------

Ziva reached the deck and asked the commanding officer to call for Corporal Walter for investigation

'' So Corporal Walter, tell me, how good did you know Corporal Adam?''

Ziva started skimming through Corporal Adam's file with her; she put the pictures of Corporal Adam dead body in front of him

He said nothing but had a look of disgust on his face and a little hatred flashing his face quickly and managed to hide it, but it was not missed by Ziva any way

'' I only knew him as a colleague and we share the cabinet now for about 3 months'' he said and his voice a bit shaking

'' Did you know what he was in charge for on the carrier '' Ziva asked and her voice seemed harsh with the question

_She knew he hand a hand in corporal Adam's murder and wanted to know about it fast, she was feeling that she needed to be some where else and very soon_

'' No, I did not and still do not know '' he answered back plainly but Ziva detected a lie and then knew what he was hiding

_I need to finish with him quickly; I need to be some where else _

She reached for his shoulder and practiced pressure on a spot that made him yell with pain and anger '' Ok, ok, I will tell you everything '' good thing that they were alone in a closed room or she would have to use the usual methods of investigation

Ziva let go of his shoulder and nodded for him to continue _but she was not satisfied, she felt something wrong is going to happen, her fear was rising and she needed to finish with this suspect soon _

'' First, before I speak I will need you to provide me with protection '' Walter said looking directly into Ziva's eyes with fear in his own

'' You won't be protected if you do not start talking '' Ziva said looking back at him with anger in her eyes

'' Ok , well, corporal Adam was working on a technique that could control the weapons from something like a remote control that is on that carrier , so They offered me 7 million dollars if I only convinced Adam to sell the technique to them'' Walter said

'' WHO are they '' Ziva said getting angry at that treacherous man and how he would sell that valuable technique for money

'' A group of people who I never met, really, they contacted me by sending text messages, I SWEAR '' Walter was screaming at that point when Ziva about to dislocate his shoulder

Ziva then cuffed him to the door of the cabinet they were sitting in and went like a bolt through the corridors to where Tony was investigating Corporal Kevin

She had to reach him fast but she did not know why

'' MAKE A HOLE'' was what she yelled through corridors

--------------------

Tony also went to the engines room and asked for Corporal Kevin to be brought for investigation

Corporal Kevin came and sat opposite to Tony

'' How long have you known Corporal Adam, Kevin? ''

Corporal Kevin seemed relaxed and not annoyed at all by any of Tony's questions which made Tony a bit worried inside

'' I've known him for a while , we shared the same cabinet for 6 months now , we used to go to parties together , but we were not that close just casual friends '' Said Kevin plainly showing no sadness neither in his face nor his voice

'' But you sure do not seem annoyed by his suicide or even sad '' Tony said sensing something wrong in that man as he also looked a bit unusual

'' No I am not '' said Corporal Kevin getting annoyed as he realized that he is a suspect of a murder

'' So what do you know about his mission on the carrier? '' Tony said rising from his chair as he sensed the man make sudden movements with the question he said

'' I know nothing about it '' said Kevin now a bit of fear escaping to his voice

He still made some movements silently

'' What are you doing?'' asked Tony as he realized he was pulling something out of his pocket like a mobile and pushed a red button while Tony was trying to garb it from him

The red button started making bebing noise which Tony was sure was a transmitting signal of warning to make something explode or to warn someone

Tony reached for his gun and found that Kevin pulled a gun himself from his and pointed it at Tony

'' Put your gun DOWN '' Tony screamed at Kevin who only laughed a devilish laugh and said '' you will never walk away from here alive Special Agent DiNozzo and so am I ''

**That is it for this chapter, I hope you liked it **

**Cannot wait to read your reactions **

**I love anticipation in stories**

**If you would like to know what will happen please review and tell me your opinions, tell me what do you think will happen?**

**The more you review , the faster I write **


	6. Agent Down

**Here is the next chapter: I hope you like it **

**It is my favorite chapter in the story, so please review and tell me what do think **

**Thank you '' ZeevahDinozzo, Anon, carlsoles, and Princess practice '' for your sweet reviews **

**You really made my day happier and urged me to finish this chapter **

**Chapter 6 '' Agent Down '' **

Kevin had the small device like a mobile still bebing in his hand and his other hand holding a gun pointed at Tony's head

'' Put your gun DOWN'' Tony repeated to Kevin who even his devilish smile got wider

'' No I won't '' said Kevin '' and you won't have a chance to shoot from yours ''

'' Yes I will and I will stop you '' Said Tony trying to hold him to know what he has on his other hand

'' No you won't, as you see I already started the self-destructive mechanism for the sources I have with me '' Kevin said waving the machine in his hand and laughing loudly now

'' So that contains the sources that you contact to give the info '' Tony said getting more nervous by the idea of a destroyed source of information

His knuckles whitened with the hold of his gun

_I need to think fast, how can I try to stop him from destroying it_

_Where are you Ziva, you said you will only take half an hour, _

_Oh my God, Ziva I need you now, I wish I did what you said and stayed together _

_I could die now and never see you Ziva again, oh I love you Ziva_

'' What about the project of Corporal Adam, did you sent that to your sources?'' said Tony trying to get the information out of that traitor

'' Oh that I cannot tell you even though you and I are going to die, I can only tell you that I have it in a safe place '' said Kevin showing a look of pride at that announcement

_Ok that is as much as I can get from him according to his mental state and that suicidal behavior_

Tony decided to use his gun finally

Tony said '' for the last time put your gun down '' Tony said trying to get cover when the gun firing happens but it only was a cabinet

Kevin started to fire first , he aimed at Tony's head but Tony moved quickly and it hit his left shoulder , he shouted when he got shot and then ducked away from the bolts flying in the air every where

Kevin started screaming and laughing as Tony fired at him , he got shot at the leg but he kept holding the device in his hand and the gun in his other hand

Tony then decided to take the chance and try to save that device from being completely destroyed

He jumped in the air and landed on top of Kevin, Kevin dropped his gun from the force of Tony's body

He freed the device from Kevin's hand

He found out it had an electronic chip inside it , he thought it must hold the information on it , he took it out of the bebing device but the noise did not stop which freaked Tony out _why is not stopping, it must be a bomb_

He put the ship safely in his jacket pocket and dropped the bebing device on the floor and turned to face Kevin and his whole shirt now soaked in wet reddish blood, but Kevin had already got hold of his gun again, he took aim at Tony again and this time Tony was looking at the chip that should be destroyed

He took aim at Tony's heart and shot

Tony turned while the bullet was fired and then something hit him in the chest

It did not hurt at first but then it hurt like hell , he felt like he can handle with it and stay focused to kill him , but then he felt the air drawn away from his lungs he gasped and was longing for a breathe

_Ziva where are you? I need you_

While gasping for air he saw Kevin reach for the bebing device not noticing that Tony removed the chip and clicked more buttons

Kevin looked again at the now suffocating Tony; he aimed again at Tony's head

At this moment, Ziva was down the long corridor and heard the gun shot that aimed at Tony's chest

She ran quicker now screaming '' MAKE A HOLE''

She hit the cabinet's door several times before it was opened

She shot at Kevin's temple with no hesitation as she decided him to be a threat without thinking, only her killing instinct worked at that minute

Tony was now really suffering to breathe in or breathe out _Ziva thank God you came here before I die alone without seeing you _

Ziva did not feel herself as she screamed ''TONY, TONYYY''

At that moment Tony was semi conscious but he had to complete his job

He said struggling for air to enter his lung '' Th...th...the… bebing... device …Bo…bomb '' but even before Tony could finish his sentence Ziva understood

She went to the device and examined it, she knew what kind of bomb it was and then in less than Two seconds she finished it with shaky hands as she lost her clear mind when she saw Tony on the floor gasping and his NCIS jacket all covered in blood

She then went to Tony's side again now tears falling freely without even noticing them

Tony's breathing now was harsh and very shallow but his eyes was only focused on her, he seemed to hold into her eyes

Ziva reached for his hand and held it tightly as if it will keep him awake

'' I... I... knew … you... will …will …co...come... to. ..to save me ,,, my beautiful .. Crazy ninja chick'' Tony said smiling weakly at her between gasping

Ziva laughed and cried at the same time _even in the hardest situations you still make jokes Tony _

Ziva tried to keep him conscious as she noticed how he was closing his eyes

'' Tony, Tony, keep focusing on me, Tony '' Ziva shouted a little as she noticed how weak he was becoming

His tired green eyes met her brown eyes which was now a bit reddish from crying, he seemed to become more focused when he felt her around him again

Ziva wanted to tell him a lot of things she wished she have told him before

''Tony, Tony focus, Tony stay awake '' said Ziva taking of her NCIS jacket to put pressure on his wounds

She felt the wound in his chest from the bullet

_Oh my God, I hope it did not hit his heart ….. oh God,,, help me_

'' I need a doctor in here '' Ziva shouted as some marines started to realize what happened and that was gun shooting not a normal sound of planes landing on the deck

'' It se … seems... like... I am dying '' Tony said in what seemed like an eternity, while gasping to catch his lost breathe

'' No you aren't, no you aren't Tony '' Ziva said still crying and her tears fell over his face

'' The doctor is on his way here, ma'am '' said a young marine who made an alert for the doctor on the carrier to come

Ziva felt relived for a minute and looked at Tony who was now turning scarily blue from the lack of Oxygen

Tony looked at Ziva and his painful gasping for some air and the sharp pain he felt

_She cares about me … but it is too late... I must tell her before I go to where I can never return _

''Tony, hold on... the doctor is coming, you are going to be fine '' said Ziva still crying while putting pressure on his wounds with her jacket which now was becoming soaked in blood as well as the floor around them

The blood was from both Tony and Kevin

_Oh my God , I cannot lose you now_

_I cannot _

_Not after I finally knew that you... you are my soul mate _

Ziva was still trying to make Tony awake as he was now losing conscious due to the great lose of blood he had

_I cannot stay awake any more _

_I will tell her _Tony thought to himself

'' Tony …. To… Tonyyyy '' Ziva said trying to keep her own emotions under control to help him stay awake

'' Zivaaaa … Ziii … I'm really… sorry ''' said Tony

That was all he managed to say before he slipped into beautiful nothingness where there was no pain nor suffer

**That is it for this chapter; I really hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it**

**I like cliff hangers, so stay tuned **

**It took me three days to write this chapter, so I reeeaaally hope you enjoyed it **

**Wait for the next chapter as things gets more complicated and painful**

**The next chapter will be about: whether Tony dies or not**

**Please tell me what you think about this chapter specifically **


	7. Guilty

**Here is the next chapter I hope you like it **

**Thank you everyone for your great reviews **

**Although I have exams, your great reviews encouraged me to continue writing **

**Please send me your reviews soon**

**Chapter 7 Guilty **

_I cannot stay awake any more _

_I will tell her _Tony thought to himself

'' Tony …. To… Tonyyyy '' Ziva said trying to keep her own emotions under control to help him stay awake

_I need to tell her I love her and he wasted time playing that cat and mouse game _

'' Zivaaaa … Ziii … I'm really… sorry ''' said Tony

That was all he managed to say before he slipped into beautiful nothingness where there was no pain nor suffer

'' Tony ... Tonyy... Tonyyyyyyyy….'' Ziva now screamed at Tony losing her self control completely when Tony shut his eyes closed

'' Tony … Tonyyyy ... Tony please wake up , Tony do not you die on me '' said Ziva now sobbing

The doctor came with a male nurse with him; he had the first aid kit with him

The doctor examined Tony's pulse and found a weak one

'' we've got pulse '' the doctor said and Ziva stopped crying waiting for the next conformation that he is not gonna die which never came

''let's put him on IV lines , now '' the doctor told the male nurse who right away started getting the equipments out of the bag he had

The nurse put the IV lines in Tony's arm while the doctor examined the wounds Tony had, while Ziva just stared at Tony holding his hand tightly not allowing the doctor to free her hand from his

She just could not believe, she was still crying while the doctor examined his wounds

The doctor cut open his soaked in blood shirt and cleaned Tony's skin from the blood that covered his chest

Ziva just wondered now _what was he sorry for _

_What if he do not get the chance to tell me _

_Will I be able to survive without you?_

The nurse now worked on putting bandages on Tony's shoulder wound , while the doctor worked on the wound in his chest

'' He is hurt in the chest, his left lung collapsed that is all I can tell for now '' said the doctor after he succeeded in stopping the bleeding

_Oh my God, he is hurt badly _

_Oh Tony, please do not give up _

Ziva thought and tightened her grip on his hand instinctively

'' We need a gurney now '' the doctor directed his nurse and then turned to Ziva and said '' when will your helicopter arrive? ''

Ziva looked at her watch and said '' it should arrive within an hour '' she was panicking at that sudden question

'' I only can extract the bullets from his wounds to prevent any further infections, but I cannot keep him stable, he lost a lot of blood and needs blood transfusion '' said the doctor looking directly at Ziva before continuing '' He also have a collapsed lung which leads that he should be put in ventilation system and monitors .. There could be internal bleeding which I cannot determine specifically on the carrier... So we will need to move him to DC as fast as we can before he could come to cardiac arrest'' the doctor concluded and turned to put an oxygen mask over Tony's face which was turning a bit blue

'' I will only try to extract the bullets and wait for the helicopters arrival'' concluded the doctor

The nurse was back with the gurney and the carried Tony on it and headed to the medical care section and Ziva at their heels

_Oh my God, Tony why do you always get into trouble _

_Oh God please let him live, let him live for my sake _

_I cannot lose him_

Ziva made a little prayer in Hebrew while walking with the doctor and the nurse still holding Tony's hand in one hand and in the other hand her jacket that was now soaked in Tony's blood

The doctor and the nurse went into a sterilized room and started working on his shoulder wound

They finished it and took away the bullet

Then when they worked on his other wound they did not take away the bullet

When the doctor came out , he told Ziva '' we successfully got the bullet from his shoulder , but the other one is too close to his heart and it needs a more sterilized environment and more equipments , so we left it until he gets to Bethesda and there they will take care of him '' the doctor took a deep breathe and then continued '' the risk is while traveling in the helicopter, the bullet could move to his heart and the result will be fatal , but there is no other solution '' said the doctor

Ziva sat heavily on the chair behind her and took fast deep breathes to prevent herself from crying again

_Why? Why Tony?_

_Why was not it me?_

_I wish it was me, I wish I stayed and admitted that I was afraid to leave him alone_

_Why did not I follow my gut _

_Oh God help him_

Ziva looked at her watch again and now it was almost six o'clock and helicopter should be arriving any time now

'' I will keep him on heavy sedation so that he would not return conscious, but he is already in a coma '' said the doctor

'' He is already in a coma? '' exclaimed Ziva

'' Yes'' assured the doctor '' the pain of the shots was too painful and his collapsed lung reduced the amount of Oxygen arriving to his brain so it resulted in a coma'' concluded the doctor

Ziva was more shocked by that announcement

She asked the doctor in a shaky voice that she could not hide anymore '' what are the chances for his survival? ''

She asked the doctor fearing to know the answer

He sat in the chair beside Ziva's

He said after taking a deep breathe '' if Agent DiNozzo could survive being transferred in the helicopter without the bullet going into his heart and causing … .. um … and causing his heart to stop ,, AND … if Agent DiNozzo could have an immediate blood transfusion operation ,,,, then there will be only the risk of internal bleeding or internal organs damage, ,,and he could go into cardiac arrest due to the bullet wound near his heart '' the doctor was quite for a while before he continued '' Agent DiNozzo's chances for survival are very weak …. Besides he is already on a coma that could have permanent damage on his brain '' he concluded

'' I will go prepare Agent Dinozzo for the flight ''said the doctor and left Ziva alone

_Tony … how did I let this happen to you_

_I will never forgive myself_

_The last thing he said was that he was sorry while I was the one who should have said it_

_I am sorry Tony for not protecting you_

_I am sorry_

Then tears fell again from her eyes and looked over to where Tony was now being replaced on a gurney and an Oxygen mask over his face

His face was little bluish and a tube was linked to his mouth

He looked so helpless and vulnerable Ziva thought that she had never seen him look like that even in his weakest moment, _I never saw you so weak Tony_

The doctor continued in putting bandages on Tony's wounds and then he put a rope around Tony's waist to keep him stable while they transform him in the helicopter

'' Officer David '' the doctor called on Ziva from behind the glass door where he stood beside Tony

'' Yes, doctor, is there any thing wrong '' asked Ziva panicking inside for why he could call her for

'' no , the helicopter just reported in and I informed them with the case of Agent DiNozzo , so you better go collect your and Agent DiNozzo's things so that you could be able to leave soon as we finish preparing Agent DiNozzo for the flight '' said the doctor to Ziva

Ziva nodded to the doctor and looked at the helpless Tony lying so still in the gurney and left

It is time to get professional Ziva thought to herself

She went to their cabinet and packed her things and then packed Tony's things before she felt really sad as the rest of the lunch he brought with them was still there

Her tears were threatening to fall again, but she stopped herself so that she can finish her job

She finished packing her things then she left all the bags at the cabinet on the floor and ordered one of the skippers to deliver them to the helicopter

In the mean while she had other things to do

She fetched one of the equipment bags and headed again to the cabinet where Tony was shot

It was left intact on her orders until she took photos of the scene

She took out her gloves and camera in hand and started to take pictures of the dead Corporal Kevin and then the place where Tony was shot where she stared for a while at the pool of blood that belonged to Tony

_Oh my God Tony , how did you even survived after you lost all that blood and still be awake looking at me ,_

_Just apologizing while you suffered the most_

She then took a bag and put the bullets shells that were on the floor and then put everything in her bag and left

I have to stay focus, Ziva kept telling herself as she walked in the corridors of the carrier to make one last job she should do

She went to where she cuffed Corporal Walter to the door and found him asleep on the floor and his hand held up by the hand cuffs

She called his commanding officer and ordered that he should stay cuffed like that until another helicopter come with more agents and arrest him as he was in charged of treason and he will be moved with the dead body of Corporal Kevin who was also in charged of treason

She then left heading to the medical care section again where the doctor was still preparing Tony for that risky flight

''Are you ready Officer David? '' asked the doctor '' we are ready to move Agent Dinozzo and the helicopter is also ready to pick us up ''

'' Yes, I am ready. How is he doing? '' Ziva asked afraid again from the answer

'' His condition is critical,, his collapsed lung is causing problems in the Oxygen mask we put '' he sighed and said '' all we can do now is pray for him , he is just swaying between life and death '' the doctor said and started to move Tony's gurney

Ziva just stood there shock,_ he is not even stable_,

_All we can do is pray???_

_How can watch my partner like that and do nothing???_

A sense of helplessness washed over Ziva's inside

_I am always in control, how did I let this happen to Tony_

_I cannot control that_

_How can I just sit there watch him dying_

Ziva thought as she followed the doctor to the deck of the ship and Tony on the gurney and his body still attached to different lines and the oxygen mask over his face and the nurse squeezing it every 3 seconds

They reached the deck and to the helicopter

Ziva sat beside the gurney and replaced her hand back in Tony's

She sat so still just looking at Tony as if her eyes would keep the bullet away from his heart and then the helicopter started to raise in the air

**That is it for this chapter, I hope you liked it**

**Sorry for the long chapter but I had to finish the carrier phase**

**Please read and review **

**The next chapter shows the journey to DC **

**Whether Tony survive it or not**

**And some of the team reactions**


	8. In the Sky

**Sorry for the delay ''EXAMS'', wish me luck**

**Here is the next chapter, enjoy**

**Please Read and review**

**Chapter 8 '' in the sky ''**

Ziva sat in the plane holding Tony's hand, just watching him intently as her gaze would prevent the bullet from moving to his heart

The doctor sat on the other side of Tony and every now and he would examine his breathing while pressing the Oxygen mask on his face

Tony now looked extremely pale and his face is still bluish, he looked in pain and his face was wrinkled although he was sedated

Ziva stared at Tony and then looked at her watch; it already has been an hour since they were flying

Tony's face started to wrinkle and show painful expressions

''What is happening? Is he hurting?'' asked Ziva as she saw those expressions become more intense

The doctor examined Tony quickly and said '' the bullet is moving, let's hope it won't reach his heart ''

_Oh my God hold on Tony, just hold on_

Ziva shouted to the pilot and asked how much they have to arrive to the hospital

'' we entered the USA borders , we have about half an hour to arrive to the hospital '' the pilot answered and then added '' you can use your phone now ''

Ziva sat so still again

_Oh my God, Gibbs, how can I tell him that I failed in protecting my partner?_

_How am I going to tell them that Tony is shot and dying? _

_Oh my God help me_

She made another short prayer in Hebrew holding Tony's hand

Then she took the phone out of her pocket and called the speed dial number two and listened to the silence that comes before the storm

The phone rang only once and then Gibbs answered '' Ziva, what have you got? where the hell is Tony and why did not he call back? ''

Gibbs was answered by nothing but silence in the other end of the line

He knew that something went wrong

Tony would not miss a call from him nor lose the opportunity of trying to get credit for his work before Ziva

Ziva's breathe became a little shaky then Gibbs said in a more calm sound '' Ziva what is wrong? What happened? ''

Ziva decided finally to speak after one minute of silence as she was controlling her emotions and preparing herself to be reprimanded by Gibbs

'' Tony was shot by one of the suspects and his condition is critical ,, we are hiding now straight to Bethesda hospital an will arrive there in about fifteen minutes '' Ziva shot all the information into Gibbs and then held her breathe waiting for him to react

Gibbs was taken aback by that amount of information and that his senior agent is in critical condition

'' What did you say? '' He yelled at her as she expected him to do

'' Tony is shot and he is in a critical condition '' Ziva repeated to Gibbs trying to calm herself more than Gibbs

Gibbs then just stared at the phone in his hand

He then put the phone on his ear and asked quietly '' Are you heading to Bethesda?''

''Yes Gibbs '' answered Ziva now taken aback by turn at the calmness that swept over Gibbs

'' I will go and meet you there '' Gibbs said before he hanged up

----------------------

Gibbs did not want to get angry at Ziva before he knew all the facts , so he left te conversation and hanged up

He went down stairs to do a hard mission of telling Abby and McGee that Tony was shot and being transferred into Bethesda

'' What??? '' That was all what Abby said before she burst into tears and went to hug Gibbs tightly

She then broke off and looked at the still in shock McGee , it is all going too fast for him

First his family friend gets killed and now Tony is in acritical condition

Abby went over to him and held his hand '' it is all my fault , I should have been there to help him '' Tim said and his face was starting to turn red from anger

Gibbs gave him a little smack at the back of his head and then said '' it is no body's fault, Tim ''

'' Come on let's go see how Tony is doing '' Gibbs told them and they both followed him

-------------------------------

On the helicopter the doctor gave Tony couple of antibiotics into his IV lines to prevent any further infection from his bleeding wounds that the bandages now was becoming soaked in blood

Ziva still holding Tony's hand and not taking her eyes away from him,

She heard the pilot say that they reached the hospital and is going to land now

Ziva got out of the helicopter still holding Tony's hand and looking at him directly

The doctor was holding the other side of the gurney and then they started rushing him inside and through the way , the doctor informed the other doctors of his case and they rushed him into OR one and Ziva was asked to wait outside until they finish surgery and the nurse will keep her up to date

In the meanwhile they gave her some forms to fill while waiting

Ziva sat there staring at the wall

_What did I do ?_

_If he did it will be because of me_

_I do not want him to go_

_Not after we bonded like that_

_He said he loved me and I never had the chance to tell to him_

_He said he was sorry and I never told him that __**I**__ too was sorry for ignoring him and his feelings for me_

_I am sorry Tony, I love you_

_Why did it take me that long to admit it?_

_I wish that you was not shot , I wish it was me instead , that way I would not have felt that guilty _

_I would only feel pain that I got used to when I was trained in Mossade_

Ziva's mind kept running in circles about how she failed Tony and felt guilty about it

She kept thinking like that and she even stiffened in her position and did not notice the three figures entering the waiting room

She did not notice until two man figures each sat by one side while a female voice from a distance was calling on her and then she felt running out of air

'' Abby let her go '' ordered Gibbs as he noticed the strange gaze on Ziva's face and how she looked lost; she looked as if in regret

'' McGee take Abby and go get us coffee '' Gibbs ordered Tim and he understood right away that it was time for Gibbs and Ziva to have a private conversation

He nodded at Gibbs and left with a struggling Abby in his arms

'' Ziva... '' Gibbs said gently putting his hand on Ziva's shoulder to get her attention

She looked at him and her eyes threatened to let her tears free any second now

'' Are you ok? '' Gibbs asked softly as before which also made Ziva pay more attention to him astonished as she expected an angry Gibbs demanding only answers to this situation

'' I am fine '' Ziva said finally after putting her feelings into order

The sight of Gibbs as a real father just calm to know the problem and solve it unlike her own father who only wanted an assassin with no emotions , a machine he can control

Gibbs sat there seeing the distress Ziva seemed in , he knew that something was going very wrong other wise Ziva , the trained Mossade agent , would not just sit there in a state of shock as she seem

He needed to know but she was in a bad shape and he did not want to urge her or she could end up in more shock state than that one

Ziva in that moment was swimming in her own thoughts in a virtual coma of torture that only kept saying

_it is all your fault_

_Tony could die because of you_

**That is it for this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it**

**Of course Tony's condition is still on hold because some suspense is needed **

**The next chapter will discuss**

**If Tony survived the operations or will it be the end**

**How Gibbs will deal with Ziva**

**Will she be OK or sinks in a storm of self-regret?**

**Please read and review **


	9. Lost

**Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it**

**I am sorry it is short, but it plays important role in the plot**

**Please read and review **

**Chapter 9 '' lost ''**

'' Ziva... '' Gibbs said again to Ziva who just continued to stare to the wall in front of her for a whole five minutes and ignored him totally

Gibbs was running out of patience and he needed to know what happened to his senior agent

'' Ziva , what happened ? '' Gibbs said again in a calm voice but commanding this time

She was brought back to reality by that order

Ziva looked directly into Gibbs's blue eyes and said '' it is all my fault, I was not there to protect his six '' Ziva said and then started to stare again in the wall in front of her

'' Ziva what is wrong with you?'' Gibbs asked her again, now he was worrying that she was starting to show shock symptoms

_It cannot be _

_I need to know what happened _

_I am sure that she has done her best _

_Why is she in such a shock?_

_What the hell happened on that carrier?_

_What happened between them?_

_There seems to be more than just professional worries for her partner_

_They care for each other, but are there more that I am oblivious about_

_I saw tension between the two; I saw fun time spent together as if they were two children playing together_

_There was some looks in there eyes when one was not looking at the other_

_There were looks of teenagers in love_

_In love???_

_They are in love _

_Now I see that is why she is just in shock and only blaming herself_

Ziva was now breathing harder now as she would faint

_I caused him that pain_

_It's all my fault _

Were the two thoughts flouting in her brain in circles

Gibbs worries began to rise as Ziva did not answer his calling for 3 times

'' Ziva snap out of it '' Gibbs shouted this time at Ziva's face and he slapped her head hard

Instantly Ziva wake up from her thoughts and looked at Gibbs but this time more focused and sadness shown more obviously in her face

She just waited for Gibbs to ask her what happened

'' What did happen Ziva , and I am sure that you did your best to have Tony's back '' said Gibbs staring directly at Ziva's brown sad eyes

Ziva began her story about the important secret project that USA was making and how it could control the weapons of the army by some device

She skipped the part of her and Tony having dinner and opening their hearts to each other

She then told him how they argued to finish the interrogation each on one Corporal

She told him how she got answers that Walter was paid millions of dollars to get that device from Adam to that foreign group of people

She then told him how she heard the shots and started running, but not that she actually felt something wrong before even hearing the shots,

She told him how she found Tony shot twice and one is in his chest beside his heart

She told him how Tony has a collapsed left lung

She told him how the bullet moved in his body during their flight to the hospital

She told him how it has been 3 hours since they entered OR and no one came to update her

Gibbs just stared at her with the amount of information he was fed

He held Ziva's shoulder and told her in a fatherly look and tone '' you did save him, you were there to protect his six '' Gibbs assured her

Gibbs and Ziva then sat there waiting for any one to give them update on Tony's condition

Gibbs picked his phone after two minutes meditation and started giving orders

'' Send an NCIS team on the carrier to collect the dead body of Kevin and arrest Walter'' Gibbs ordered before he closed his phone

He then called Ducky to come and give them a feed back from that hospital as they were not getting anything from the nurses there

Abby and McGee came back holding coffee and lunch

They set them on a coffee table and then all the four of them started eating

Another hour passed, and then a doctor in blue dress and it still had a lot of blood stains on it

''Agent DiNozzo's family?'' the doctor asked looking at them

The four of them stood up immediately and looked at the doctor

'' That is us '' answered Gibbs

'' May be we all should sit down '' the doctor suggested but none of them did as told

Gibbs just stared at him, while Ziva was killing him with her looks that he avoided looking into her eyes

The doctor sighed and said '' I am sorry … but we did our best … ''

**Well I am afraid to say that: that is it for this chapter**

**I know that you all hate me now, but the next chapter is vital so do not go by without reading it, so stay tuned**

**Please read and review soon**

**The next chapter shows: the news from the doctor**

**Whether Tony survives or not**


	10. Hurt

**I am so sorry for the delay as I was having my exams since the middle of December and my time was really full**

**Here is the next chapter, enjoy and review ASAP**

**Thank you guys for your great reviews, I really loved them. And thanks for sticking with the story . **

**Chapter 10 '' Hurt '' **

The doctor sighed and said '' I am sorry … but we did our best … '' before the doctor could continue Abby started crying and held tightly into McGee who held her tightly in the same way and his face was getting red

Ziva swore in Hebrew and started staring bluntly at the wall in front of her

Gibbs just stood there glaring at the doctor almost burning him under his gaze

He could not believe what he was hearing

The doctor continued '' Agent DiNozzo is now listed as critical case ''

Before he could continue he heard Abby take in a deep breathe as if she expected worse, which was what she really expected,

Gibbs just kept staring at the doctor who stumbled over words for a second and ten continued '' we treated the shoulder wound and it only caused some minor damage to his muscles that can be treated with physic therapy , but the wound in his chest .. .. Well ….. the bullet moved while transferring him to the hospital ….it caused internal bleeding and some damages to his internal organs …… mm…. his heart was damaged a bit by the bullet and he had cardiac arrest on the table while we were operating ''

At this point Gibbs could not help it but sitting down heavily on the chair next to him, Abby started sobbing loudly and McGee's eyes seemed watery

Ziva just stood there, her hands folded in front of her, she seemed as if she is about to attack the doctor at any moment

The doctor now started talking again afraid of any reaction '' we got him back, but his heart is damaged, and his left lung also collapsed which made us put him on a ventilator that will be replaced there until we could make sure his heart is well recovered '' the doctor stopped a bit and then said after taking a deep breathe still avoiding meeting Ziva's gaze '' … well.. Agent DiNozzo suffered before from pneumonic plague as file says... and … that is decreasing his chances in recovery ''

Ziva stood very quite again; she was shocked at the news,

_He knew he was dying_

_He tried to tell me something; while I did not try to tell him the only thing I wanted to say a long time ago_

_It is all my fault, I should not have let that happen to him_

_I will never forgive myself for that, I am sorry Tony_

Gibbs looked up from his chair to the doctor, he was shooting hatred towards him, he knows it was not his fault but he needed to get his frustration out on some one

Abby did not calm nor stop crying while McGee kept holding her; a single tear trickled from his eyes on his cheek and he wept away it quickly

Tony was his partner too, whatever pranks he did on him, he was still his friend who got his back and protected him

The doctor waited for them a minute to digest this information then said '' he fell into a coma but it is the least of our concerns….. if he goes through the night, there will be good chance that he survives ''

At this point Gibbs stood up again and faced the doctor intruding into his personal space and staring directly in the eyes and causing the doctor to take two steps back

he said '' what are you telling me? '' He stepped further into the doctor's personal space

'' Is there a chance that he won't make it through the night ''

The doctor sighed and said ''yes Agent Gibbs, there is a very little chance that Agent DiNozzo would make it through the night, and if he did , he will still face a lot of danger '' he stopped and then said '' he would suffer a lot with damaged heart, collapsed lung, the recovery could even take years, and some damage could be permanent and affect his life style'' the doctor finished with that last piece of information and his phone started peeping, he looked at it and then said '' excuse me , I have to go '' and then he left

When he left Ducky showed at the door, he apparently has listened at least to the last part of the conversation

Abby took off from McGee to Ducky and hugged him still crying '' do not worry , my dear child , Anthony is a tough man and he is still young , he stands better chances than other elder agents'' he held her as he looked like he aged ten more years

All that time Ziva stood very still, going into the regret she felt few hours ago

Gibbs tapped her lightly on the shoulder and said '' you ok?''

'' I am fine '' Ziva said and then mumbled something about the lady's room and left

Ziva practically ran through the corridors to the bathroom and then entered and found no one in there

She closed the door behind her and then went to the sink, she held to its edge but could not, she fell to the floor and started taking deep breathe to calm her self but she could not

Ziva started to cry silently, the tears trickled on her face and she did not even want to weep them away

_Tony please do not give up, I need you to stay for me _

_You are the first one who made me feel like myself, a woman_

_Not just a trained assassin _

She cried herself to exhaustion; she was already tired of the trip to the hospital

She leant her head back to the wall and closed her eyes and was met by Tony's hurt green eyes looking back at her with a small smile on his lips

She snapped her eyes open again to find herself still on the floor of bathroom

She looked at her watch and found that she slept on the floor for half an hour

She started washing her face and then heard knocking on the door

'' Ziva, are you in here? '' Ziva could her Abby's broken voice and how she could hear her still taking deep breathe to calm the anguish she felt

Ziva set herself right and went to the door, and she opened it and was met by a crushing huge from a sobbing Abby

'' Are you ok Ziva? '' Abby asked still holding Ziva tightly which she deep inside relived her

Ziva really needed something to take out her frustration on, but a huge could do

As if Abby could read her thoughts, she held her even tighter and then let go of her

''Are you ok? '' Abby repeated the question now looking into her eyes

'' I am fine, thank you Abby '' Ziva replied as she did not want to say anything else

'' He is going to survive, I know it '' Abby said and tears started to fell from her eyes '' I know he will '' she began sobbing again '' he have to, I do not want to lose him ''

Ziva held herself from crying again and said '' me too '' in a whisper

Abby looked at her and said '' it is not your fault Ziva, you saved his life ''

Ziva just nodded, as she did not want a reminder of what already is going in her mind

''They have finished preparing Tony, and moved him into ICU, come on we will go see him ''Abby said and took Ziva's hand started walking to the door

Ziva was feeling numb, she actually let Abby take her hand and drive her to Tony's room

_I cannot take it, how he will look like _

_I do not want to see him lying on that bed helpless because of me_

They headed for the room and were met half way by Gibbs, McGee, and Ducky

They stood there discussing something about the case and the arrested man

By now Abby left Ziva but not before giving her another hug and then went to hug each of the three men standing

Gibbs went to Ziva and said '' they are only allowing two people in each time , you go in first alone as there is four of us '' Gibbs told Ziva and gazed at her tired eyes intently '' I will go with Ducky and Abby will go with McGee . Now go ''

He ordered her

_Gibbs has seen something in her eyes that he was never willing to admit_

_She had more than care for a partner that showed even more obvious now _

_She had to see him; she has to pull him through that if he is going to pull through it at all_

_He did not want even to go there, he is going to make it _

Gibbs kept telling himself, he held his emotions back to keep these tears from falling

He stared at Ziva who seemed a little lost and hesitated

''It is room 101, across the hall '' Gibbs signed her room

Ziva took a deep breathe and looked at the room across the hall, she started dragging her feet, one after the other, and started walking towards the room

**That is it for this chapter, I hope u liked it **

**Tell me what do u think will happen to Tony?**

**Please, please, please read and review soon**

**The next chapter shows: how Tony looks and how will Ziva handle that**

**Tony's life is still on the edge, he may live or may die, so let me hear your thoughts people, I am willing to change the plot if u have better ideas **

**Tell me what do u want to see and what you want to happen **


	11. Asleep

**Chapter 11 '' Asleep''**

**Thank you guys for your great reviews **

**Any grammar or spelling mistakes are all mine**

**Here is the next chapter, enjoy**

''It is room 101, across the hall '' Gibbs signed Ziva to Tony's room

Ziva took a deep breathe and looked at the room across the hall, she started dragging her feet, one after the other, and started walking towards the room

She stood in front of the door of Tony's room, holding the cold door handle, she took deep breathe in and another out

_Tony how will you look like?_

_It is my fault any way. Tony please be ok_

Ziva opened the door and entered the room, her eyes settled on the only bed in the room. Ziva's eyes widened at the site of Tony, she could not prevent herself from crying now and was thankful that Gibbs has sent her alone.

Tony was lying in the bed, his face still bluish, a tube was connected to his mouth and it made his bluish lips apart from each other. The tube connected to his mouth had its other line connected to a beeping machine that made Tony's chest rise and fall rythematically. His entire chest was bare but covered in a huge bandage that reached from his shoulder wound to his heart. _He looks very helpless and dependent on those machines _Ziva thought to herself _Tony… you never looked like that _Ziva thought to herself as she stared at the pale face Tony had

_What happened to you? _

_While you be able to go through the night?_

_You have to pull through this, I will not let you die, I will not_

_I should have told you that I loved you when I had the chance, now I might never have the chance _Ziva thought to herself as she was still frozen in her place by the look of the motionless figure in front of her

She started to move slowly until she reached Tony's bed side with tears trickling down her cheeks freely

She never thought that she would see Tony lay very still in bed as he is now , she have seen him asleep before at work , and even when they were under cover but he never looked like that

Even when Tony was asleep, he always has that mischievous smile on his lips, but now that smile was gone, only leaving a very deadly tired looking young man with bluish parted lips and a tube between them.

Tony had too many tubes linked to his body. There were two lines attached to his right arm which Ziva guessed to be an IV line and one that transferred blood as it was attached to a bag of blood. He also had several tubes attached to his other arm. She also noticed a tube that was going under his bandage to his heart Ziva guessed. She could not imagine how it would feel for Tony to see all those tubes linked to his body.

Ziva stood there staring at Tony trying to figure a way to help him go through that but only met with frustration. Tony looked very ill and she had no solution for that.

_I am not in control of that, I feel very useless_

_Tony you look very helpless and I can do nothing_

_Tony you have to pull through that or I will kill you myself_

_Gibbs will kill you too, as I have heard, you should talk permission to die from him_

Ziva to herself bitterly at the thought of Gibbs yelling at Tony for not taking his permission to get shot

Ziva then reached for Tony's forehead and started arranging his hair which now looked in a miss. She smiled to herself when she could not recall a time when Tony's hair was ever missy.

A nurse came in and Ziva pulled her hand away from his hair that she was playing wither fingers by now

The nurse's name was Emma as the name tag referred; she took Tony's chart and started taking some readings from the beeping machine. After that she adjusted Tony's dozes and then took a needle started pulling a blood sample. Ziva just felt really sad at how much Tony must be in pain.

'' Is he in pain? '' Ziva asked the nurse when she finished taking the blood sample

'' No, he is not '' the nurse simply answered which made Ziva suspect her answer

'' Are you sure?'' Ziva asked again with her gaze fixed on the nurse to detect any lies she might say

'' Well … '' the nurse paused as if she was considering her answer '' he has been shot near the heart and in the shoulder, he had had a risky surgery with open heart… he is sedated but not highly so that it could not make more damage to the heart''

'' He should be in pain… if was not in a coma ''the nurse concluded with concern in her eyes

Ziva just stared at her without even blinking

_He is suffering, he is in pain and he could die and it is all because of me_

'' So, the coma is the one thing that is keeping him from feeling the pain? '' Ziva asked again prying for small mercies to happen

'' I am afraid that our knowledge about comas is not an exact science, so we do not really know if he is in pain or not… but he looks like he is not in a lot of pain '' said the nurse signing to Tony's bluish face

He did not really look in pain but who knows what is going on inside

'' What will happen if he wakes up? '' Asked Ziva trying to study all possibilities

''Well... I am afraid that that will hurt…. Agent DiNozzo will be in a great deal of pain as he will not be highly sedated … as I said he is not highly sedated so it won't his already damaged heart '' the nurse said taking the blood sample and on her way to leave and added '' I do not know about you but Agent DiNozzo is better in a coma than waking up and suffering all that amount of pain and suffer as we won't be able to give him any sedation to reduce it…yet … the coma could affect his basic functions and memory … I am sorry but Agent DiNozzo is really sick'' the nurse concluded and felt that should not have said what she did as she found that sad concerned look in Ziva's eyes

'' you should talk to him you know, he can hear you and may be your voice would comfort him a little '' the nurse said with a small smile and left

Ziva was very shocked at the news the nurse gave her and how much pain Tony could be going through

Ziva then started to think of speaking to him and that may be he would really hear her. She did not know whether she wanted him in a coma or not, both options seemed very bad.

She brought the plastic chair in the room by Tony's bed side and sat. She had only one thing in her mind that she wanted to tell him and she wished he could be listening to her now

'' Tony … '' Ziva called on Tony by whispering in his ears and held his hand in both of hers

'' Tony I … I do not know where to begin... it has been going on for too long that I got stuck and did not know what to do '' Ziva said and took a deep breathe and started playing with his hair in her fingers again

'' Tony you and I … you and I are alike, we love our jobs, and we love teasing each other and McGee as well ''Ziva laughed at the recall of all the conspiracies they made together against poor McGee

'' I love you Tony '' Ziva whispered in Tony's ears and then printed a kiss on his cheek

Ziva felt a sigh from Tony's sleeping figure and she smiled a little

_He is listening_

''Tony '' Ziva began at the hope that he could be listening '' Tony you should pull through this, Tony if you are listening to me you should know by now that I love you Tony'' Ziva said whispering to Tony and she found him sighing again. She smiled to herself and said '' you should pull through it for me Tony, for us '' Ziva said that and then sat back in her chair holding Tony's hand , wondering if his sighs were a sign of him listening to her or is he just having a good dream?

There was a knock on the door and she pulled her hand away from Tony's and then she found an other nurse at the door.

''Excuse me, but it has been fifteen minutes already and there are some other visitors who would like to come in'' the nurse said

'' I know '' Ziva said then the nurse left and before Ziva goes she printed another kiss on Tony's cheek and wished him good night in Hebrew

Ziva was met by McGee and Abby in the corridors. Abby gave Ziva a deep hug and asked her '' how is he? ''

Ziva took a deep breathe and said '' not good Abby '' she gave her a wary look, Abby in return held McGee by his hand really tight and started crying.

''Come on, let's go see him '' McGee comforted Abby by taking her in an embrace

'' ' okay'' was all what Abby said between sobs

McGee nodded to Ziva and then he and Abby headed to Tony's room

Ziva went back to the waiting room and found Gibbs and Ducky sitting I the plastic annoying chairs .Ducky was having a quick nap, whereas Gibbs just stared to the wall in front of him. He spotted Ziva and she briefed him in by only eye contact. His face was filled with worry and concern and he did not hide this time.

'' Ziva, the doctor said that two of us can stay with him through the night '' Gibbs said with a sigh as he ran his hand through his face in frustration

'' I want to stay with him '' Ziva said not caring how she looked like. She had to be there for him.

Gibbs only gazed at her for a short time and then said '' _I know Ziva_'' Gibbs said with his acknowledging glare that he always had'' _I know …Ziva''_

'' You know? '' Ziva asked not believing what she was hearing

Gibbs laughed bitterly and said '' you telling me that all the looks you gave each other, all the jokes you say, the eye contact you make, the way you communicate without speaking, the way you anticipate each other movement, the way you each other's six is purely professional ? ''

'' I think not '' was all what Ziva said as she now processed how she would glance at Tony when he is not and he would do the same.

''All that time... you knew? '' Ziva asked Gibbs who only gave her one of his smirking smiles '' why did not you say anything?''

'' I thought I won't need to, but apparently Tony is really loyal to break that damn rule number twelve'' Gibbs concluded

_Ziva was really thinking that she is dreaming. If her ears are not deceiving her, she would say that Gibbs has just given them his approval or is it blessing?_

_Where is Tony when you need him?_ That was the last thought in her mind before Gibbs head slapped her softly and said '' you would make a great couple ''

Ziva had a small smile on her face and then she gave Gibbs a hug and said '' thank you Gibbs''

**That is it for this chapter. The next chapter witnesses the night Ziva and Gibbs will spend with Tony. The next one will include both Ziva's and Tony's POV**

**So stay tunned. And please review so I would know what are your ideas and impressions.**


End file.
